Babe? When did you become a writer? And what else have you not told me?!

Ha, no worries. That’s the best part of the deadspin comments, you never know what you’ll Discover!

Yaaaaarrrrrgghh, here be yowr blasted star.

So apply for an American Express instead!

“unfortunately”

*reads headline*

I’m fairly certain this scenario is described in the lost pages of Revelations.

But lettuce not forget how shredded he is

Perfect, that’s just what this joke was missing!

To visit the Mayo clinic

Reuben, what happened at the combined?!

I know nothing about the Buss family, but after reading the first three kids’ names, I began scrolling to make a joke about the fates of the other “J” named family members.... Only to realize the parents beat me by about four decades.

I was a dozen minutes late. +1

I want the story on #9 who, after a moment of hesitation, dove INTO the path of the bat.

Minor suggestion: while he was a state representative, Kander was most recently the Missouri Secretary of State (elected 2012, serving 2013-2017).

I know “separate, but equal” gives you PC sissies the willies, so let’s try “separate AND equal.” (Don’t worry white-frighters, you know which part is more important *wink*)

Unh, slurptatious, flyin’ all over my faces

“It’s not fun to watch when you go through your whole pitching staff and wind up bringing a utility infielder in to pitch.”

My sincerest apologies. Western Missouri assholes are in a league of their own.

*Morans. This is Missouri we’re talking about.