I was three paragraphs in before I realized that the answer to “How to punch a puncher” was not “join a union.”

For a bleeding heart, commie, pinko liberal, you sure can write about boxing.

Reuben, what happened at the combined?!

Stewart Lee has a great bit about this. It’s about the Conservatives and Labour in the UK but I think it applies equally well here:

“A couple of times I hit a guy with that Stunner, they pissed their trunks. A couple of them even crapped themselves. Hell, one time I hit the stunner and it lead to her calling the cops and our eventual divorce”

That’s cute and all but he traveled.

The 14 stunned birds were later quoted as saying “They were so good at the beginning of the season, what the fuck happened?!”

congrats mobute on being named interim secretary of the interior

An old friend of mine was/is a TSA agent at Logan airport and told me this:

Ranadive: Hey DeMarcus, what do you think about a trade for Buddy Hield?

“I am Art Briles, and I approve this message.”

4. Has Ben Affleck ever met an autistic person?

The Spurs could probably have made up 4 foreign-sounding names and traded their draft rights for Boogie on reputation alone.

NFL doctors agree the two men are not suffering from concussions.

Edited from the final copy:

… isn’t he the only R in congress promising committee hearings into the Russian connections…

Unfortunately, also:

another man arrived to assist Revis.

Suprised the headline was not “Watch Steph Curry hit a mid-court shot off his father’s hands!!”