This is some Gestapo shit.

She should have done a staycation....oh, wait.

When Harambe faked his own death to escape.

That’s Home Alone, dude

I sent her a $50 giftcard to Adam & Eve.

GOTTAM.

I heard no one really won.

Nah, I’m good with showing up stoned to Pizzeria Mozza instead (or any vastly superior restaurant not run by weed dealers).

I’m guessing this establishment isn’t classified as a restaurant.

Counterpoint: why not? It’s chocolate.

If everyone dies from overeating meat, we don’t have to worry about climate change anymore. So eat more cows, chikns.

This thing is going to end up causing a huge wildfire somewhere in NorCal, all because some douchebag wanted Neapolitan pizza while glamping.

The pig probably relished abusing his authority.

It’s not shocking at all. It’s basically the history of this country.

Compared to Jersey water, of course it’s better; I think the Ganges has better water.

Don’t take any chances. Wear your full body-armor and strap on all your guns when you go see it.

He’d have to a long enough sword to do so.

Because eventually someone will photoshop the Democractic candidates onto the candy bars. Or Pokemon.

What happens when you’re chewing a handful of salted peanuts and then they turn into peanut butter in your mouth? Do you spit it out or keep going?

Yeah, they can all go to hell and take their diabetes with them.