This is the only correct alternative. Anyone who answered otherwise is living a lie that will one day implode on itself and they’ll wake up alone, covered in sweat, staring at death in the mirror. 

This may be the last straw, America. 

What if they *hurk* talked about Trump’s cock ring instead (which is the same size)?

Tom Selleck!

Not with the Red Winter coming.

Nothing happens. https://www.npr.org/2018/04/19/603629576/skipping-the-2020-census-citizenship-question-youll-still-be-counted

The lesson is: never vote.

He looks like Shemar Moore going undercover in an episode of S.W.A.T.

I would say he’s trying too hard, but he’s got nothing else going for him, so bless his heart. 

Bernie = slightly-melted Raisinets.

That’s a lot of pesos to break bread with a man who is all hat and no cattle.

Impeachment won’t work due to reality of the math, but investigating him to death would have the same effect. The motherfucker hates to have his dirty laundry aired. It might even cause him to stroke out. Let’s not lose track of the real goal here. 

Eventually they will own all our water supplies and your options will be Coke, Pepsi or untreated sewage (RC Cola).

tl;dr:

Careful, you might anger Stephen Moore.

Wow, that video is amazing. I’ve seen laser tag players more disciplined than that scary-assed cop.

What’s amazing is that Unilever gives this brand so much freedom to post whatever they want. That must have been some helluva contract.

Yeah, wouldn’t be too hard for the university set up some signage against allowing dogs on campus, and then start enforcing it with ultrasonic repellents. If Mayo’s little princess bolted across traffic every time it set foot on a patch of grass at Howard, Mayo would stop visiting.

White dog owners. Some of us raise them right. 

*Doesn’t read study*