She’s not in my office at the moment, so your mouth is full of lies.

“I have overridden my people, we’re funding the special Olympics. I’ve always like the Special Olympics. I think they’re great. Real great. In fact, I’m adding a swimsuit competition to make it more special. And I will be judging all the events.”

The ranking is:

It doesn’t do much, and this whole sudden rush to market for hemp-derived CBD seems like a snake oil gold rush.

The union has a union? It’s like an union onion.

Dude looks good enough to run for President (let’s face it, that isn’t even a necessary qualification at this point). I’d vote for him.

If just a tiny portion of Puerto Ricans move to Florida in time for the election they can take the state easily. Of course, I wouldn’t recommend it; they’ve suffered enough.

Yeah, I question the efficacy of all this hemp-derived CBD. I’ll stick to the low-dose THC/high-dose CBD products that I know work for sure.

Good thing they can’t tell him nuttin’.

That’s no burrito, that’s a Chimi-Lang-a.

These punk-ass teens should have to serve a life sentence in Alaska.

Look at Mr. Rockefeller over here with his graham crackers.

Sell it to them and ship it same-day delivery.

I never even knew there was a difference.

This is known.

judging by the crumb, these were never boiled. so they were never bagels. no crime has been committed. this is a false flag.

i never understood how you could cut yourself. just rotate the bagel counter to the knife’s direction in parallel lines that don’t intersect. simple geometry. 

Oh, yeah, good call. These are not bagels, so who gives a shit what you do with them?

“This literally the best way to eat freshly toasted bagels. So many crisp edges!”

Chernow only writes about dead Presidents, so there could still be a funny punchline come April 27th.