How it really works:

Just give up on the old brand and re-brand as Lil Jon’s Pizza:

Use a different glass?

This is better than Nutella, but it also costs so much more, which helps with moderation.

Exactly. I think they are dissing the fact that it comes in a tub in America vs. a small bottle in Europe.

“Krispy Kreme Thanos”

“Trying to argue that you weren’t just caught jacking off to the the Sears catalog.”

Yeah, it’s weird he just attempted to translate it himself. 

“Dictionary Spanish” = Google translate, I’m guessing.

You know how much it costs to send a galleon from Spain these days?

At Nihilist Arby’s everyone di(n)es alone.

Yes, welcome to market segmentation. Have a pigeonhole.

Warhol was born before his time. He would have loved the age of Twitter and squeeze bottles.

They also had that “organic” Michelob Ultra beer ad featuring millenial’s favorite soothing sounds. My guess is this was a clear shift toward the avocado toast demographic.

“I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I don’t have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of prejudices. Prejudices I have acquired over a very long life. Prejudices that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now…

Yeah, he was probably talking about Cubans for all we know.

Which is why he probably thought their toilets were bomb-proof.

So, um, this guy might have some issues.

My vanity bookshelf (you know what Im talking bout) is reserved exclusively for library books. The local system has no limit on number of books checked out or renewals, so it’s like I own them (until I read them or someone requests them).

Those are also critical of R. Kelly, hoteps, and the justice system.