*peruses menu*

This is stupid.

You skipped the next page:

“All of them.”

That’s just the molly.

Roe v. Wade.

It means he got real fucking high by rotating through different oil cartridges for hours.

She probably croaked when Obama got elected.

We all know she’s trying to renegotiate her prenup here. I ain’t even mad.

Lol, bullshit motherfucker you were eating bruschetta with extra tomato.

For real.

Because of their size, Texas and it’s counterpart, California, basically write the history books for the country. You can guess which one they use in the Bible-humping, dinosaur-Jesusing, inbreeding parts of the country.

Yeah, that shit’s on their Outlook.

Crepes are just runny pancakes, so its not that difficult--especially if you just water down pancake mix. My bigger issue is that if you just bothered to make crepes, why the hell would you put this shit on them?

Stuffed buns. Not a sandwich because they are baked while the dough is raw, so it’s not a sandwich at the point of assembly and cooking it doesn’t transform it into one either.

There are other things that can go wrong with your eyes or detected with an eye exam than just your vision.

I know that, you know that, but Mr. and Mrs. Pearlclutcher don’t know a quarter oz bag of weed from a ton of weed. 

Us chocosnobs are more like high-end coffee clowns than craft beer clowns.

You can “cut” your tacos this way: tear the tortilla into small pieces before you fill it and then use the small pieces to scoop up your food. Now you are eating cut taco sandwiches.

Won’t be long before the narrative is that he was a drug dealer and that she heroically interrupted a drug deal.