THE WORST. I HATE ROSS. Credit to David Schwimmer though, because he somehow made awful terrible Ross seem likeable.

If you were a woman no one would have heard of you because women can’t compete in the decathlon. You wouldn’t be a hero. You would be a frustrated young athlete who wasn’t given a chance.

Every day I love Kristen Stewart more and more. Also have a giant crush on her and think we would do very nicely being dour and cynical together while we applied more and more layers of angry black eye liner. I ALREADY DO THAT ALONE KRISTEN.

you whimsical flower omg

Dear god, I read that as “fisting” not “fishing”, and I was a little traumatized for you.
Still sounds pretty bad though.

I get that the dress code doesn’t differentiate between different ages (and I think women of any age should be able to wear whatever the fuck they want anyway), but what kind of fucked up sick person would tell a 5-year old they were showing too much skin? Just because it’s in the dress code doesn’t mean you need to…

Love him! My 17 year old daughter wore a dress with spaghetti straps yesterday and when a school administrator told her to cover up she asked him if her shoulders were turning him on. She's a sassy thing and I love it.

Yo, haters gon’ hate but that was some slick ass ad placement for ancestry.com on her part.

I complain to be self-deprecating, and then people think I am really overwhelmed and stressed. Happens all the time. I just don’t want to be like, “Things are going great, and I really feel like I have a handle on it all/am awesome at managing this,” so I make (what I feel are really obviously) jokes about how hard it…

“WOMEN BE SHOPPIN”

The best part of this whole thing is the US Weekly headline

Blac Chyna probably shouldn’t have done this, but let’s be honest, can you blame her?

Blac Chyna has lost me. Yeah, Kylie Jenner is probably an asshole, but she’s also 17 years old and a grown-ass woman shitting on a teenager is lame. Tyga deserves all the scorn in the world, but Chyna seems to be focusing on shading and/or slamming Kylie, which reads as kind of pathetic. I think she knows she gets…

Me too!

Please tell me that was Laverne Cox in the background saying “I love you even more now Amy Schumer”.

Kims reaction: I don’t know who you are, you are not famous enough for me to help you to get up.

I’M SUCH A NICE GUY WHY CAN’T YOU C*NTS JUST ACCEPT THAT

My wife IRL.

QUEEN.