Yeah I am real drunk but my statement stands otherwise.

More likely she takes her Fox limo home, to her Fox paid for house, and (in my head), makes schmoopy noises at a medium size dog. Then she pours a Big Carl size glass of wine (white is my guess), fills up a bong, take a big drink, and a big hit. Then she holds for a few seconds, blows it all out, relaxes her shoulders…

she then asks Rand Paul: “Did you get overly emotional?”

One of the great lines in cinema, about Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. “She’s a phony but she’s a real phony.” That’s Megan Fox. Or not. Who knows?

I want to get drunk on cosmos with her and find out all her secrets.

I’m editing my memory to believe that her “Santa Claus is white” thing as being sarcastic, because I can’t reconcile the existence of 2 Megyn Kelly’s.

Okay, so after the bandages come off from the human centipede surgery (with Ted Cruz in the middle, of course), I stick them in a trailer, drive to City Hall and marry them. Boosh will have the veil, and chartreuse bridesmaid dresses for the other two. After the Quad Cities honeymoon—

Via The Onion;

Murder/suicide all three.

Words cannot express how much I hate that band name. It is, quite possibly, the ugliest collection of syllables the English language has ever seen.

I like to think the French adds a subtly romantic frisson to an otherwise banal designation.

“Hello Bruce!”

I would LOVE if Bruce Jenner trolled everyone and talked about everything but his personal life.

Everybody to Brad Falchuk:

Again, you miss the point. You asked why the show existed, I gave a perfectly reasonable answer as to why, backed up by several very obvious similar examples. Why you don’t like it is not the argument. I repeat: you can dislike the show, and I don’t watch the show. Your obtuseness comes in the refusing to acknowledge…

I think you’re being willfully obtuse, frankly. Of course I don’t work on the show. I don’t even watch the show. And you don’t have to like the show. I’ve said literally two things.

SO LEGIT.

ANYTHING CHRISSY SAYS IS LEGIT.

Lolololol when people remember their SAT scores it always tickles me.

that is literally the worst thing an Indian family member can say to you