I swear to god he treats the entire presidency like its a summer job at his uncle’s store that he wasn’t actually planning on taking until Mom made him. He hasn’t staffed offices, he didn’t bother to book hotel rooms for major events, and announces “YUP WORKING HARD!” whenever he thinks someone might be looking.

Imagine, if you will, if the White House’s previous occupant regularly lost his shit and rage tweeted while being completely unable to regulate his tone, mood, words, and terrible temper. Imagine if a woman was President and acted like Trump, an emotional lunatic unable to tell the truth even when it would be rational…

My favorite: Ethan Couch - Affluenza

You forgot -

kalief browder: 3 years for not stealing backpack

Rancid Penis was always my go to

And Jimmy Kimmel as well, his “man on the street” bits would ask people if they were for the ACA and briefly described it and they would almost always answer a resounding YES!!! Then when they would ask if they supported Obamacare, like half of them would basically answer “Oh hell no, fuck that n****r. Steve Allen and…

There is such a thing as a good spray tan. My sister has them done occasionally before special occasions, and it’s very subtle and natural-looking.

Hell, I am 4 months postpartum and my abdominal muscles are still not the same. I am doing daily exercises to help bring them back together, but (even ignoring the slight layer of extra fat I have on them), they are still not close to the flat abs I had pre-baby. And that’s A-OK. We all recover at different rates. …

Let’s see, the head of the EPA doesn’t believe in protecting the environment, the head of the Department of Education doesn’t believe in public schools, the head of DoJ’s Civil Rights division doesn’t believe in civil rights.... yep, that’s the Cheetolini administration.

Didn’t his lawyers try to halt the trial because he is going blind and he is frail? How quickly someone bounces back when there is a profit to be made.

I was in a local dollar store in a small town in a crappy state. This particular town is kind of drying up fast mainly because of a bypass that the locals fought long and hard against. As is the case with most of the businesses in this town the radio is blaring a country station that is owned by what passes as the…

Uhh, Steve? I think there is an adage about stones and glass houses that applies to you here...

She was magnificent during the entire grilling. Sessions version is like piss dribbling down a leg.

Never been seen in the same room, just for the record.

Okay but can we also talk about him getting a mandatory sentence of 19 years for stealing a cell phone? Like in what world is that a proportional punishment?

Hopefully what he didn’t mention in that interview was that he thanked Mrs. Sessions for the blanket, took it home, and burned it immediately.

No. He’s being portrayed by a crisis actor.

Have you ever seen a grimmer batch of faces in your life? They look like they’re going to spend five hours at a college graduation ceremony where they don’t even know any of the matriculators. Hee hee hee.