You're only assuming I'm joking, doll.

“But what if he meant to express genuine affection?!”

QB: MAY, 19, 68... MAY... 19... 68...

Fan: COMMUNIST MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRR

QB: KILL, KILL... [Looks to sidelines, wild-eyed; makes exaggerated shrug]

Offensive Coordinator: [Signals “2" and “0"]

QB: [Nods, returns to snap count] BLUE DOG 2020, BLUE DOOOOG 2020!

CENTER: [Snaps ball]

QB: [Drops back three steps]

[Fakes left]

[Hand…

music that is typically only played for guys like Richard Branson and Bob Pittman [at] private parties

I don’t give a fuck what you do or do not care about, Gary. 

Mike, at your leisure.

I read this to the tune of Nirvana’s “All Apologies.”

Wut

Fans of the flick may appreciate these before and after pictures taken from the movie and from 2018.

Hey that’s fair, it’s not even my favorite pizza from there - I mostly thought of it because I was thinking about political events nearby at the Hamburg Inn (I’m still kicking myself that I wrote Hamburg Grill earlier, ugh). But I really did like their house special pizza.

This is like my alt-uni spec fic story where instead of Peter and Gordon and Chad and Jeremy we had Peter and Jeremy and Chad and Gordon. I posit that it would truly be a world without love. 

I don’t mean this as an insult, but you missed something about the location of those gravel roads and missing sidewalks that was extremely obvious from the text of the article.

“I don’t get it” would’ve taken a lot less time to type.

I mean, there’s a link to the article right in the middle of the post. And it’s in keeping with the standard Jez thing of being snarky about something that you probably haven’t heard about, in a way that is confusing out of context. Have you perhaps not been on Jezebel very long?

I’m not ready to take “funny” lessons from somebody writing a humorous-less 4 paragraph confused rant on a joke article.

Presuming to correct a stranger on the matter of his own race based on a thumbnail photo you saw of him is an incredible fucking take, man.

These antics showed that he doesn’t have the mental capacitance to keep a QB job.

Maybe he can make it in one of those 6V6 flag football leagues

I apologize for it and while I don’t know if it’ll help you should know that I have pretty well wrecked my own shit with it as well.