Oh goodie, a parrot finger to bite off all your other fingers!

@Cribbage Left: Drum solo from the floppy drive!

If only someone could protect that drive from obsolescence...

So the iPhone can recognize pulls of the handle on that dock? Good, that means there's absolutely no excuse for an iPhone joystick not to exist.

If you don't believe, it should be just a pointless, superstitious ritual anyway. Why would you need another pointless, superstitious ritual to reverse it?

@pixelsnader: Yeah, that too. Look, I'm not playing favorites here. Apple lost its underdog status years ago when the iPod was a success, and they've been plenty scary and arrogant too. Scary-gant, in fact.

@The Lone Scout: SCIENCE!

@diverguy: Cowering under a table, most likely. Ballmer scawy.

HA! Finally, Microsoft admitted that Vista was a bomb! B-17 Ballmer kept claiming "Oh no, it's perfectly fine, it's selling well, everybody loves it," when we all knew the opposite was true.

@FriedPeeps: Yeah, I don't get how animated cyclopean Twinkies are supposed to be the next big merchandising craze. Oh, and I love how Best Buy is recommending people come to the film with their iPhones to translate their gibberish dialog. I'm sure movie theaters love the idea of viewers sticking a camera-enabled…

Boy, I couldn't have timed that tooth extraction any better. :P

@cassiebearRAWR: I remember the commercial for a rival matchmaking service where a guy comes out, matter of factly says, "I'm interested in a relationship, but I'm not really interested in girls, so E-Harmony's not that interested in ME," followed by a big REJECTED stamp over the screen. It was a pretty brutal dig at…

Looks more like Spectrumus Ripofficus to me. The only thing it's missing is the rainbow on the bottom.

This is coming dangerously close to Crecente territory, but I love Conan so much I can't bring myself to complain. Glad to see he's out with the fans!

But all she says is "Is that what you want...?"

@Is_guhn_RAIN: Your opinion sucks.

"Bing's a search engine for people who don't know quite what they're searching for. And it's good at it!"

@Donuthead: Ah, you've never been to Wienerschnitzel then!

@FriarNurgle: You really want to go? Anyway, I think it's a southern thing, because I've found plenty in Arizona but never seen one in the midwest. If you find one yourself, you'd better hope you have bowels of iron. The food goes in and comes out looking the same.

@Kung-Fu Kurtis Carnivale of Carnage: With diarrhea on the top. Then again, EVERYTHING is like that at Weinerschnitzel. I think that place is the Germans' revenge for World War II.