Sir, this is a Wendy’s drive-thru.

Think how upset you’d be if you bet on Wichita to win the game. Say if perhaps you were related to the manager and only ever bet on his team to win.

you’re really bending over backwards for some excuses.

You guys texted before posting, didn’t you?

The fallacy of false equivalence. The social externalities of a non-running car on your property aren’t anywhere remotely close to those of uranium mining, methmaking, or murder.

Le pomme James?

My condiments to Dublin, who must relish this victory, but Mayo just can’t cut the mustard, even though they had a chance to ketchup.

Always fucking highlight truthers.

+1 star, oh no wait, it’s saying I removed a star. Ok I’ll reload the page I guess

+1 slow-loading ad on mobile that makes the nav jump

Shit yeah buddy.

He’s on the wrong type of bike.

Charcoal is wonderful, but you know what else is pretty good? Turning a knob, pressing a button, and having a hot grill ten minutes later and then not having to deal with a cauldron of ashes a couple hours after the meal. That’s decent, too.

The mouth said “run it up their donkey”, but the eyes say “go outside and cut your own switch”

“Twerking” may be the general name, but when you’re up against a wall and you go bottoms-up specifically for the Chargers it’s called “Ryan Leafing.”

Thanks for clarifying all this! Man, I wish the author had seen fit to include this pertinent information.

When reached for comment, Roger Goodell said: “BAW BAW DA BAW PROTECT DA BAW SHIELD BAW BAW.”

I kinda like the idea of kicking off the season by announcing arbitrary suspensions of former players.

Yeah, this is about Elliot, his TRO decision is today, and this stood out as the most ridiculous of all the inconsistencies from the NFL.

This is the “oh shit, there’s 20 more counts of domestic violence we didn’t look at, plus Mr. Mara said it’s OK” move.