Oh, god. The coffee shop where I used to work always got those insane Chick Publications comic book things in the tip jar. We never did find out who was leaving them, they were stealthy as fuck, whoever they were. In all honesty we didn't really mind, those things are hilarious.

Yeah, me too. I dumped via text message. One of the most satisfying moments of my life. Then he stalked me, which was less satisfying.

Oh my god, this A MILLION TIMES FOREVER. A few years ago, we were having dinner with my boyfriend's grandparents. I was wearing this really pretty new dress that I loved. We live in Florida, and of course it was hotter than the surface of the sun, so I was wearing this dress with nothing over it. It's not…

In my experience, it's the guys who aren't misogynists who have the hardest time believing. I had an ex who was a real piece of work. He once told me 'I'm your boyfriend, I can touch you whenever I want, you should be GLAD that I want to touch you' in response to me asking him to stop fiddling with my boobs like…

It's been out for awhile, and it's awful. It's super-fragranced (a weird perfumey smell, not the nasal symphony of fake beach smell) and it doesn't do nearly the same thing as the Ocean Waves spray. It sucks.

God, ALL that Beach Blonde stuff was amazing. Remember the gold gel? It was fucking fantastic. That Ocean Waves stuff did something to my hair that I've never been able to recreate with any other product. It made my hair wavy and textured, but also soft and shiny! And not sticky!! IT WAS FUCKING SORCERY.

Uh, you realized that the officer in question was elbowed after he grabbed this woman's breast, right? Or did you miss that part? Elbowing someone who grabs you from behind is practically a reflex, and yeah, if any one of those utterly arbitrary (paramedic on the way to save a choking baby? really?) public employees…

My boyfriend used to go to this mall when he was growing up. I am obsessed with this dead mall stuff, and I don't even really know why. It makes me feel all these weird feelings that I don't really understand, like sadness and nostalgia and then guilt and disgust at having emotions about a mall. When I was a kid, the…

Well, if you were a uniformed public employee, I think I'd be pretty okay with someone elbowing you in the face.

Actually, the 'time to say goodbye' thing isn't part of the original song. They added that for the English version. 'Con te partiro' means 'with you I will go'. The song is about following the person you love anywhere in the world.

You know what? Unless there's visible dick, I don't give a fuck, Franco.

I'll be sticking with the inexplicable yet incredibly delicious London Broil at the Canfield Fair this year, thank you. After my friend cheese, and my cavatelli, of course.

I think this is great (the yearbook feature, not the boneheaded reactions). Teen parents need support. They need to feel like they are still a part of the same world as their peers, and that they are not isolated and excluded and shamed. If they're doing a good job and working hard, they deserve to be celebrated for…

Honestly, the only thing in Orlando that's worth it is Harry Potter world. And the now charmingly-dilapidated Jurassic Park ride. But seriously, Harry Potter world. For the butterbeer. The butterbeer. Oh my god. WHAT DO THEY PUT IN IT IT'S HEROIN OR SOME SHIT.

Yeah? And how about the cops who beat the shit out of people during these same protests? How many assault convictions have we seen there? Oh, wait, I forgot. A cop beating someone down is ALWAYS justified. Especially in New York.

Oh, please. If you think that elbowing someone warrants a felony conviction and jail time, then there's no hope for you.

Oh good grief, the comments on this over at Gawker. It scares me that so many people are okay with someone getting thrown in jail for elbowing a cop. It's scary that we live in that kind of police state. I just.....the flames, FLAMES ON THE SIDES OF MY FACE......

Seriously, don't fuck with an angry cat. My 20 lb cat has faced down my neighbor's horrible, aggressive pitbull (who is allowed to roam free, unleashed, all over our neighborhood) and prevented it from coming into our yard more than once. She shredded my old roommate's idiot Siberian husky when it tried to attack her.…

OBVIOUSLY this whole thing is disgusting, but oh do I feel for this girl. It says she's 5'9. I know exactly the feeling of putting on a skirt or a dress or a pair of shorts that seems to be a perfectly normal length on everyone else but looks totally obscene on me because I'm tall.

I mean, the public probably won't get the whole story until Blue Ivy is writing her autobiography, thirty years from now. This kind of speculation is just....kind of weird. I will say, though, that the facial expressions in that top photo speak volumes. Those are three fucking unhappy people, right there.