It's terrifying. The little boy who escaped at 5 a.m. had recently developed a fascination with trains, and when his mom discovered him gone, she went running down the street towards the traintracks by their house, in her nightgown, IN THE RAIN, screaming his name because she thought he might have gone to the tracks…

I know it's not fair to pile on the mom here, because all parents make mistakes. However, I have a 3 year old son, and I also live in a rural area, and he is NEVER outside without direct supervision, because I'm afraid of this exact thing happening. He's big enough and fast enough to get pretty far, pretty fast, and…

Awwwwww, this warms the cockles of my cold cynical heart. When I was very, very little, we had this enormous yellow Lab named Carmen who used to herd me around the yard. I have vivd memories of her getting in front of me and nudging me back towards the house if I got too far towards the edge of our yard. In fairness…

Good old Visa Visa Mastercard.

Alternative blog title: Stuff White People Eat

This didn't happen to me, but to my husband. At the time, we were still just dating. He was working as a bike messenger in a mid-sized Midwestern city. I was stopped at a red light downtown, and I happened to see him ride down the side of the street past me. He didn't see me, so I honked and when he looked back, I…

Oh, this shit is INSANE. I have a cousin who's a senior this year, and some ridiculous public thing has happened every time she's gone to a dance for the last four years. When did this become a thing? It's so obnoxious.

So, when I was about 17, I was visiting my dad for the summer, and one rainy day I was going through his videos and came upon a copy of Goodfellas. I offhandedly mentioned that I'd never seen it. My dad made this kind of incredulous choking "GUHUH" sound, manhandled me into an armchair, pushed the tv over in front of…

Do you like any other horror/scifi? I definitely recommend Joe Hill and Neil Gaiman. Also, if you're looking for some not-too-heavy yet still well-written summer reading, check out the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon. Also, my all time favorite book, 'Rebecca' by Daphne du Maurier. So many people have never read it…

I have extremely sensitive skin and I react to most sunscreens (redness, itching, zits, hives etc) and I love Alba Botanica. They make a bunch of different kinds, and I've found it to be nice and light and not overly smelly.

YAAAAAAS!! That's it! I remember thinking, even when I was a little kid, that I would never date a dude named Pepper. I mean, come on.

A lot of it is streaming on Amazon Prime! Not all the episodes, but they have like six "volumes" with the best episodes from every season.

Oh, I loooooved Christopher Pike. Does anybody remember the name of the one where there were a bunch of kids who....somehow found themselves in, like, some alternate-reality version of their town? And they all started dying one by one? And it was all because of...some....girl who had died, or something....fuck, I…

Whatever. I have an awesome pair of Birkenstocks with a strap that wraps around my ankle and I've lost count of the number of compliments I've gotten on them. My boyfriend (admittedly, a recovering hippie) loves them. I have super high arches and problems with plantar fasciitis and I can wear these all day, with…

VALIDATION. Thank you, random-ass psychologists. I have a three year old son, and I'm kind of a potty mouth. I try to control myself, but a curse or two definitely slips out pretty frequently. My partner gets all bent out of shape about it, but I feel like that's totally pointless-the cursing isn't directed AT our son…

I don't know about public places, but there are definitely still ballroom dancing clubs. My grandparents did competitive ballroom dancing for years and although they no longer compete, they still belong to a club that holds formal dances a few times a year, and they go and dance to music like that. It's pretty cool.

Now I need to go read the fake menu at guysamericankitchenandbar.com and compare it to this, because I can barely tell which one is supposed to be a joke. Also, The Parmageddon is a grilled cheese with pierogies and saurkraut on it, and you can get it at Melt in Lakewood, Ohio, and fuck guy fieri for stealing that…

Eat everything in Brussels. Eat all the waffles. All of them. I went to Belgium ten years ago and I STILL dream about those waffles.

I 'came out' as an atheist when I was 15. My family isn't religious, or at least they weren't at the time, but this revelation was still received with shock and dismay and I was told I'd "grow out of it." As far as peers, I was told by my best friend (at the time) that she was going to make it her personal mission to…

Hahaha it's Kirsten Dunst. Years ago the girls over at Go Fug Yourself realized that her name anagrams to Dr SunkenTits and now that's all I can ever think of her as.