Children evolved to love their parents and believe their parents. So when your mother tells you that you are unloveable, it leaves a bottomless wound. And out culture constantly tells us “no one will love you like your mother.” So how do you, even as an adult, interpret that?

Yes, it is the narcissist who gets sympathy as the victim. They have had their child’s whole life to tell stories, lay traps. To present themselves as the innocent good guys.

Me too. Just broke contact a few months ago and it is such a relief. And so, so sad looking back at all that I went through to appease my parents.

My god. Your second paragraph perfectly sums up my experiences. I find it so validating to see this put into words. And so sorry you lived this too.

I will check it out, thanks. I recommend “On Immunity” by Eula Biss, interesting take on vaccinations as well as the resistance to them.

Plus it is so shitty for her kid!

Yeah, I live in Vancouver Washington and am so ashamed by the number of dumbasses in my community.

It’s incredibly frustrating to me how many people in the medical field believe in woo, and spread that belief to others. I once was in a doctor’s office when the PA in training (waiting until doctor was out of the room) suggested I give up gluten to treat my nasal allergies. All I wanted was a god damn nasal spray…

Holy shit what a thing to say! I am so sorry for your loss.

Honestly, I am ignorant. What makes her a bad model? Who do you consider a good model?

YES. My mom had severe PPD when my younger sister was born which turned into years of bad mental health resulting in neglect and abuse for my sister and I. I hope her child is safe and loved, and that the distance is for everyone’s best interest.

That is an excellent metaphor.

Solidarity. I haven’t fully thought this out, but I wonder if there is a connection between the Catholic emphasis about not questioning the church--even when abusive, and my family’s not questioning the parents--even when abusive. Not to mention sweeping things under the rug. Although I suppose that is the case with…

Logical default assumption.

I thought the same. Why was the nun’s order disolved rather than the abusers?

Thank you for sharing your perspective with me. I went to a Catholic school run by nuns, they were overall awesome. Really passionate about social justice. I agree that there are some good folks. I am glad you found a good priest. The last time I went to mass, I love the art. I loved the music. I loved the ceremony.…

That makes a lot of sense. I went to church as a youngster, and even now I do find comfort in the ritual of mass. I just can’t bring myself to go though, but I can see how someone who went for many years would find it soothing.

You and your logic!

No fucking joke.

I honestly don’t understand how anyone can still participate in the Catholic Church at this point. I don’t get it. They have zero moral authority. Endemic, rampant sex abuse. I don’t see how they are going to change, it is baked into the culture.