kermit did 9/11

Nine days from the start of the NFL season, we have no idea whether the Super Bowl MVP will play on opening night due to an impossibly convoluted and drawn out process with regards to the air pressure of footballs in a blowout. Somehow the NFL, which I swear was once really good at messaging and handling the media,…

I cannot work up one ounce of give a shit about the amount of air that may or may not have been in those footballs. Let the quarterback decide how much air he wants in the footballs. I’d love to see a quarterback use footballs as flat as a flitter that he has to throw like a Frisbee. Let the kickers select whatever…

“cheated during the Super Bowl”

But:

Imma guess the Illuminati cut you off before you could finish

Or just shortened it to, “Here is a completely obvious thing made to sound difficult because I got a B- in Econ 101, also I hate leftists.”

You could have just left the politics out of it and said a lot of people don’t understand economics.

This is not really a big deal. What drives me crazy is that Prime switched from being mostly UPS to mostly USPS a while back. This is a huge problem because I do a lot of subscribe and save orders that show up in a single box about the size of a short man filled with toilet paper, paper towels, cat litter, laundry…

That’s what confuses me the most. That kid is old enough to wait (and chew steak). People can be such hillbillies.

I have nothing to add other than that the “Recommended Stories” for this one are all fucking crazy.

I'm a 7 at walmart.

This crazy lady didn’t even want the parents to meet with each other.

Please do not show up on the first day of school, smile to my face, then gossip behind my back and expect me to take care of your child each day do my job.

From what I’ve experienced with the NYC equivalents of this school, parents are expected to have a very high level of involvement - volunteering the classroom, bringing snacks, donating on top of the extremely high monthly tuition and extra fees, etc. It’s not exactly stepping out of bounds for parents to try to…

“On second thought, let’s not go to Camelot. ‘Tis a silly place.”

That was the part that had me going ‘the fuck did I just read??’ Because, seriously? You’re going to tell adults what they can do on their own time?? You’re going to say that parents of children who go to school together can’t fucking socialize?? What type of crazy pills are you on, lady?

“Having any group parent meeting is not in anyone’s best interest and is not going to solve anything. In fact if this does occur it will leave me no choice but to ask all parents in attendance of any such meeting to find alternative care for their children for the new year, for not respecting Camelot’s policy and…