Dear god, you’re in the epicentre, my sympathies. Get a box of wine, some good delivery menus and hunker down.

To be fair, many guys, including Mr.Needlessly-Defiant, are also doing their best to survive in Toddler Dystopia. I’m sure Jude Law types leave that stuff to baby mamas or nannies.

Actually had a talk about this over the holidays with a childless couple who are on the fence about kids. My advice was to only have a child if you really, REALLY want them. That way you have only yourself to blame when they break your shit or projectile vomit on you at 4 AM.

Was Carrie maybe friendly with Gwyneth’s parents? I’m spitballing here.

If by living he means stumbling around in stained sweats with circles under my eyes from lack of sleep, while my kidless friends go on a girl’s weekend to Vegas, then absolutely!

I’m watching the original Star Wars with my kids tonight. I’ll try my best to make it like one of Carrie’s “legendary parties” (meaning I’ll add fried chicken to the menu).

Yeah, if my partner were anti-choice I’d sooner divorce him than not fuck him.

Problem is, a lot of women must have voted for these asshats as well.

Ugh, just look at that smug group of assholes congratulating themselves.

Thanks, missed that yesterday!

Hey, it wasn’t mentioned in Dirtbag, but Janet Jackson had her baby! I don’t know why, but this news made me happy.

I didn’t even know 12 carat gold existed, I thought it went from 10 to 14. What is this shitty, off brand gold they’re using?

That’s 30 dollars PER GLASS! Had the whole set been 30$ I might have been tempted to buy them for shits and giggles (also my stupid cat is a dead ringer for Meowrlot.)

As I’m a teacher too I suspect you’re probably right.

Celebratory GUNFIRE? Is this his neighbour?

My secret shame stuff is also pretty innocuous, but I still wouldn’t want my employer or my kids teachers to know that on any given Friday night I drink copious amounts of wine and watch Game of Thrones in my underwear.

Doesn’t every couple have info on each other that would embarrass the other if made public?

We discussed that rumor endlessly on the comments thread and it was determined it couldn’t be Brad (subject of the rumor was an A lister in the 80's).

Does the sight of someone clicking their heels enrage anyone else, or is it just me? Those stupid pants also enrage me.

I wasn’t even critiquing, I agreed with the piece.