I have a particular hatred for the Chipmunks song, I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus and All I Want For Christmas is my Two Front Teeth.

Mel Gibson? Cosby? Those aliens from the Simpsons?

Then got a high five from Martin Van Buren.

William Henry Harrison’s boss move of taking office them promptly dying is looking like a pretty sweet deal compared to what we’re facing.

Any old asshole sounds pretty sweet next to an orange asshole.

Thanks but I’d have to run for prime minister.

Could this be the only good thing about Trump? Now pretty much anyone could run for president and be taken seriously. It really opens up a world of possibilities.

Can we talk about Madonna making out with Michael Jackson? Because it sounds like a fever dream that I had as a child in the 80's.

I had horrible anxiety after both my kids were born. Both times I went back to work it was exacerbated by my replacements giving me a hard time about taking my job back (futile on their part, I’m unionized, but anxiety’s not rational). I remember dropping my son off, sobbing outside the daycare for an hour, then…

But they have penises, so it’s all good.

Of course there was no alternative candidate who would have tried to close the wage gap and protect Medicare and SS.

True hair story. I was cleaning up after teaching 3 periods of English. I opened a desk and the bottom of the desk was COVERED with hair. I never did figure out which kid did it.

There is a Phoenix in my son’s daycare. I’m still not sure if it’s a boy or a girl.

Agree.

Although I’m too lazy to check, I believe Remini’s parents were Scientologists.

All of these reports make me feel really naive. I truly thought the racist element of society was dying out and we were headed to a progressive era. Then Trump opened the Hellmouth.

Well I’m sure the character will include some combination of pallor, black clothing, a stupid hat and weird hand gestures.

Yeah his casting took the wind out of my sails for those movies.

Ohhhh I know this one (thanks nature exploration class I was forced to take for PE credit): It’s pretty easy to die of hypothermia, especially while hiking (the class was in Canada in winter though, not sure what that guy’s case was).

Huzzah!