Go for it! I don't think I'll be able to write another one of those any time soon.

Ya, that was me. I really can't explain why I made that account—I guess I was just bored at the time and feeling a little goofy/over-caffeinated. Plus, given that my last foray into Sidespin authorship (Star Trek Captains: Ranked!!!) was a disaster, I figured that that account would shield me in case my new stuff…

Unfortunately such a sweet deal comes with a steep price: Ticket Oak gets to ravage your body for one (surprisingly sensuous) night.

I'm usually pretty pessimistic when it comes to the 'Hawks, but I can't see them doing any worse than 12-4 and mounting a deep run into the playoffs.

Nah, if tastes good I could care less if it's a fad or not.

I hate when people say something is "like crack," but goddammit, pumpkin bagels are like crack.

+1

Chewing on Red Vines is like chewing on strawberry-flavored gravel. Twizzlers on the other hand, is delicate and sensual.

Svenhard's butter horns and Twizzlers.

I stopped in Flagstaff last month on the way to the Grand Canyon. I could easily live there.

Prostitute 1: You're not into that weird stuff, are you?

Such a crazy game. They were only 10 minutes away from the play-off spot.

The number of booty that was grabbed was unreal

My cat is obsessed with q-tips. Put them on a linoleum or wood surface, and see if he bats them around. I never buy my cat toys because she always finds random stuff to play with like q-tips, pens, wrappers, etc.

Probably some time between the age of 9 and 12.

What noise does an elephant make when it wants to express disapproval?

Where do elephants put their groceries when they're done shopping at the grocery store?

Deep Space Nine is my favorite Trek series, but I was so disappointed with how they concluded the Dukat storyline.

You're beautiful.