It's actually pretty coherent once you translate it into Margaritavillese.

Unsuspecting American Tourist: [knocks on door]

I don't know, my uncle played on the Flyers at the tail end of the "Broad Street Bullies" era. Those guys were athletes in the same way nightclub bouncers are athletes.

Are hockey players actually athletes, or are they just overgrown brutes that figured out how to ice skate? Do you think any of them actually have the Sports Gene?

+1

Finally...

Nah, he's actually just a slightly above average sized guy now.

Seriously.

Wow, that's a really good song. First time I've heard it.

Serie A will fully embrace this idea.

[clicks on link]

"Hey guys, I can do this too! Guys, I'm over here! C'mon guys, PAY ATTENTION TO ME."

A fellow bookie, eh? What's your favorite piece of 20th century fiction by a non-American author?

If he went any more rogue, he'd get tapped as the vice presidential running mate on the 2016 Republican ticket.

[signs with the Redskins]

+ infinity internetz

He needs two fingers to operate a water fountain?

+1

During my first year of college, my friends used to get really annoyed with me because I flat-out refused to remove Badmotorfinger from my car stereo. This song usually was on repeat as well so they were doubly annoyed.