I don't know about you, but I think Darius Money-Money-Money Reynolds might be a star in this league for years to come.

Triceps are better than biceps because there are three of them rather than two of them.

If he's a parrot, why didn't he just take off and fly after the ball???

Looks like FIFA activated their ball control mechanism at just the right time.

Shue Liftington

Baseball players are known for taking WAR a bit too seriously.

Reminds me of how happy my hog was when I ditched the jockeys.

Next step: shock collar.

Your loss.

Remember the good old days back when "throwing down a dunk" meant stabbing a hooker?

Way to make a boner, Sacramento Kings brain trust. There's only one tried-and-true way to win hearts and minds:

People in Miami are probably too busy doing important Miami people things like organizing threesomes or organizing threesomes.

More like Less Schwab, amirite?

Who knew the King of the Jews had a foreskin that could envelop a doorknob?

"The KKK is one thing, but noisy crickets should never be a deterrent!"

Dammit, sports are so shady now—everything is so complicated.

Nice to see that Manute Bol has been reincarnated as a dopey white guy.

True Story: my old Golden Retriever had a butthole that eerily resembled the Prophet Muhammad.

The phone and the Twitter doing things at same time... What a country!