1) Chelsea

I've never been to Mars.

Funny you mention that, because they do! I just bought a forty pack of Kirkland Signature circumcisions for $25.99. Such a great deal. I won't be needing another one for like three months.

No, but I did get the double bypass surgery for a cool $11.50. The thing is, I didn't even need it. I'm a strapping 23 year-old that eats his broccoli and takes fish oil supplements, but that deal was just too good to pass up.

Spain could play with ten midfielders on the pitch at all times and still make the semis.

I'd guess Iniesta instead of Torres, but other than that I think you got them all right.

Robben is a horrible penalty taker. Gotta love the body paint though.

UEFA really needs to fix the Champions League suspension rules. Maybe yellow card tallies could be wiped clean at the semi-finals?

I'm hoping Bayern wins, but I think anything can happen in this one. They have great attacking talent, but their defense is just plain terrible. Chelsea has like five starters suspended, so it'll be interesting to see if they play ten men behind the ball or not.

Oklahoma City.

+1

They sell hot dogs in Seattle that are covered in mustard, grilled onions, and cream cheese.

I love it when people get snobby about hot dogs. I mean, we're talking about hot dogs here. The only thing that should matter is whether the condiment combo is delicious or not.

Ketchup goes great on a hot dog. This isn't even up for debate, guy.

"Anything you can do I can do better."

Guess it's about time for me to take my annual ride on the old Canucks bandwagon.

20 pints is all it takes to go from Gooner to complete goober.

Bass championship highlights or GTFO.

Pinochet, only because I have a massive nose like his.