Uh, where's the toilet?

Wow, that is weird. And no, that is not me. Thanks for the heads up!

"You can create a workspace pretty much anywhere". Yeah, it is called 'get a laptop'.

"Keep looking at me. It helps to keep my soul from flying off."

Isn't that the premise of Robert Heinlein's 'The Roads Must Roll'?

Stemware scares me. I prefer to drink red wine out of a plain water tumbler. No fuss, and a lot easier to handle.

Arizona, home of dashboard brownies. The only place I know where you can put a pan of brownie batter on the dashboard and come back to the car to find them baked to perfection.

You've got to accentuate the positive

What is the sound of one app closing?

I think I'll stick with something that has passed the test of Time.

Though Michael Jackson adopted and adapted many clothing items that sort of looked like military uniforms, he discovered he had a problem when it got to the hats.

"Barkeep, I'd like a strawberry dacquiri (for medicinal purposes), followed by five boiler makers please"

"Speed Tape"? I'd say more like "Yet-Another-Delay-On-The-Tarmac Tape".

You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.

Jelly Baby

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

Norway.

caviar + frozen vodka + scintillating conversation = healthy, wealthy, and wise.

"3. Soft drinks ... The six-pack, called Hom-packs ..."

Some vegetable oil might make it disappear.