You never meet smart racists anymore! Back in the Thomas Jefferson days there used to be smart racists everywhere, but they have all died.

Puppy pics? Keep ‘em coming. Baby pics? Not interested. Thx.

Bruce is Rob’s step-dad, no?

I can’t argue your points because you’re right.

Yeah!

Calvin Harris, she's not going to write a song - she'll be putting out a double album rock opera. Douchebag. Don't tell artists (or women) what to do.

He kissed every woman at the reception on the lips. So gross.

You then realized it wasn’t Shailene Woodley when there wasn’t a stream of pretentious bullshit coming out of her mouth.

Nathan accused his girlfriend Lia

Taylor Swift’s friends say “no more cats!”

It's impossible for me to feel anything but disgust at a person so "terrified" she never dropped the selfie stick in her "fear". The thirst is strong in that one. Poor manatee.

You’re SO lucky I wasn’t drinking anything while I watched that, or I would’ve had to charge you for a new computer.

this conversation made me figuratively crap my pants

I'm not sure what you mean? Plenty of 46 year olds can still get pregnant. The oldest "natural" (no IVF) mother was something like 59, in England.

She’s right, though. I sprung fully-grown from my father’s forehead at about age 25. #Athena

Dagnammit, I knew I shouldn’t have skipped 17.

What?! Just because I was 17 way back in 1992 doesn’t mean I don’t get TODAY’S TEENS (tm)!

Obligatory.

Mandatory: