I honestly felt like applauding her.

I am seriously struggling with the notion that anyone can manage to survive to adulthood, let alone become somewhat important to a corporation and still not be able to turn their sandwich over should they desire to bite into the various parts in a specific sequence.

Many years ago at the group home for developmentally disabled teens where I worked there was a resident who really, really wanted to go to the best steak house in the city for his 18th birthday. He had behavior and anger issues, but was determined to earn that birthday dinner, and he managed it. So another staff…

Weird shit regularly happens to me in Au Bon Pain, AMA.

When I hand it to her, I tell her, “No charge for the extra blood!” She doesn’t even blink, snatches the package and leaves.

My roommate is the GM of a restaurant and it’s a few doors down from where I work. They have some nice beers on tap but mostly people order off their cocktail menu, which was some pretty awesome drinks that chance seasonally. Sometimes pop in for happy hour to say hello, have a drink, and chill with my roommate. One…

“Also, there obviously needs to be training classes for being a human being”

God, that last one is like a Monty Python sketch. It’s ex-ice cream! It’s ice cream pining for the fjords!

Usually the people who send the e-mails are clearly protagonists, so from experience, we all probably expect that your posting their story is an endorsement of their actions. Might be worth an ed. note if you find one email particularly unsympathetic but too bizarre not to include.

Oh, and on the topic of ed. notes? If…

And me without my gimp suit!

I am 9 weeks pregnant and have tried to give up BCO due to some serious food aversions but I just can’t turn away.

People who sing in public are the worst. No one wants to hear your out of tune ass serenade people trapped with you on a train or in a restaurant or a store. Unless it’s “Happy Birthday To You” and you are bringing me a desert with a candle in it, shut the fuck up and restrict your tone deaf warbling to the confines…

YES! I am not the only one!

“But then it happened. Again.”

your cat sounds fucking incredible tbh

All these people need punched.

Because our goddamn society tells the average man that if he doesn’t take the initiative in regards to his sexual impulses, he is pretty much guaranteed to remain forever alone?

I’m going to have to find a way to incorporate dildochugger into my everyday vocabulary.