“I’ve been asking her out for years and back then she told me she wouldn’t go out with me til she hit the 5 year mark. So I kept count and here we are! I made her keep her promise!”

I want this cross over to be a thing

True story: some guest’s +1 did this at my cousin’s wedding; it was basically a wedding dress if you married (hah) a little black dress and a wedding dress. Office printer paper white and more lace than the actual bride’s dress—justified, of course, by the fact that the +1 had been married 5 months ago and considered…

I have left many a restaurant and changed many a baby in the trunk of a car. Maintains basic courtesy AND the looks on people’s faces in the parking lot when I pull a baby out of the trunk are priceless.

Pizza guy, there at the bottom? That guy is my fucking hero.

Hi, welcome to BCO! We have fun here.

When an author trolls his own blog, then I know I’m in the right place:)

“you’ve never worked with the general public before.”

I’ve been working with General Public so long, he was just Lieutenant Public when I got started.

I thought it was fantastic, and my surprising favorite character this time out was Ultron of all people. (Well, not people, but you get the idea.)

Don’t give up on that pillow fort! My schnookums and I have had a blanket fort in our bedroom for over a year. Bed, TV, handheld electronics are all inside. Our bed is comprised ENTIRELY of blankets and pillows. It’s wonderful and we sleep better on that than we ever have on anything else.

My husband had to restrain me at a Disney World counter-service restaurant, where we waited in line to order for FIFTEEN MINUTES, and the people in front of me STILL had to lingeringly peruse the menu board which had been plainly visible to them for FIFTEEN MINUTES (did I mention we’d all been standing in front of it…

Once, an 8-top of Christians left one of those “Here’s a Tip for You!” pamphlets on my table, in lieu of a cash tip. I was sort of used to this, so I didn’t remark much, just tossed it into the bus tub with the rest of the debris, and a glower.

I’m a little late but here goes. I worked in a Gay Dennys in Arizona and soon after gay marriage became legal, I had the most adorable elderly couple of men, one white, one black. They were seated at the counter and had on these beautiful leis. I asked if I could feel the real flowers and asked what the occasion was.…

I used to work at Starbucks, most often opening with a supervisor. One cold winter Canadian morning, I arrive to open and my supervisor is not there. I wait a little then call her, repeatedly, with no answer. Now I only live about 3 blocks away, so I could walk home, but I don’t want to be accused of leaving or not…

One of my favorite interviews was with a company, i won’t say their name, but rhymes with Whine Warmer. This was the second level interview for a salaried position and they said with pride “we typically put in 60-70 hours a week.” I, not missing a beat responded “you’re obviously doing it wrong.” Needless to say, i…

FACT: Bears eat beets.
Bears.
Beets.
Battlestat Galactica.

Imma come back in an hour after more people have gotten a chance to comment