Apparently, it’s harder to have cleavage in high school than to shoot it up.

Timberlake should have kept his dick in a box.

I’m starring your comment specifically for using proper plural and singular terms for lice.

This really wasn’t so bad in retrospect but the first time we ever flew to LA was from New York on Continental in January, 1987, and we had to switch planes in Denver. Everyone seemed to be getting awfully drunk for a morning flight but whatever, I was young and I figured all these guys were just in full vacation mode.

Fear of failure is for basics. Get back to me when you’re suffering from a crippling fear of success!

This one isn’t quite my disaster, but one that sticks in my head many years later. A friend’s Italian grandmother offered to help our girl scout troop earn our cooking badge, and so a half dozen of us crowded into her kitchen to learn to make meatballs and sauce from scratch. Her meatballs were ground beef and pork…

I like them, too, so you’re not alone. 

The top two stories are about people that are not getting attention. Weird.

I pick up public bathrooms. Especially airplane ones. I use my clean paper towel to wipe down the counter, then use the paper towel to pick up any paper towels on the floor, then push the paper towels down in the trash can so it’s not overflowing. I hate seeing messy public bathrooms. We should be perfectly capable of…

Never have heroes you don't know personally.

Rape is something that only happens to girls. This was just harmless fooling around.

Maxipads go on cunts, so this checks out.

Does Ben Affleck have a large facial scar, or is that a pillowcase mark?

I knew it was absolutely way too early because I imagined her bouncing Elizabeth down the steps of Buckingham Palace while screaming, “Take it all, Bitch”.

Oh I totally agree. It was basically the worst possible life/situation for someone with her underlying issues and history. And given that she was only 19 when she got thrust into that life, she never really stood a chance. I was never really a fan when she was alive, I was mostly indifferent to her, but it always…

Someone tell me I’m not the only one who initially read this as pushed her ‘mother-in-law’, instead of ‘stepmother’ down the stairs and was like, damn, she went out for the QUEEN! for a hot second?

“I always thought I had to be gay because all guys are evil but that’s not true”

Same thing happened with my Mom years ago!

UNLESS there is a serial necrophiliac in Winnipeg, Chicago AND Barcelona on the loose... ;)

Journaling is my most commonly failed resolution. I have several nice journals with one long entry a few smaller sporadic entries and then a shopping list or two until it is abandoned.