His body is shaped like an old hand grenade.

First, al-Zaidi would’ve had to master long-range guided shoe technology, with our spur-hobbled stable genius.

I need 28.35 million dollars to be happy.

Your mentioning Stephen Hawking bummed me out, so I did a search and found a Snopes article debunking a rumor a former student once accused him. Maybe that’s the extent of it? I hope?

Looks like you picked up a few remoras.

You just know when he opens that coat at the end of the day it smells like mothballs and farts.

I’m going with chemical element Pb.

By other morons, which speaks volumes about the country.

$4 TRILLION dollars. That’s enough to buy 47,000 F35s!

Lol. He’s like a knight in suspicious armor nobody wants, charging to the rescue of bro-dom. 

Can you imagine sitting at the thanksgiving table with this despicable Great-Gazoo looking motherfucker?

Now they’ve gone and put his life in danger made him have to change his number.

This entire screed reads like a call for US capitulation. Without exaggerating, this is the Russian wish list.

That face has shady clinic written all over it. Looks like Dr. Moreau’s handiwork to me.

I would pay for tickets to that autopsy.

What does a brother have to do to get his hands on a time machine and a couple of those silver Cylons?

Good thing I can’t afford one.

Guess he found the perks of being a normal wanting. Not a palace in sight, except the ones we get to peer at through gates next to stony-faced men with assault rifles.

When everyone has a tree trunk neck, receding hairline by four, snapping turtle head and a finely beveled chin, then evolution will put away its tools. For it will have touched peak human perfection.

The way they frame it the choices are: a) incineration in atomic fires or b) say ‘ahh’ and accept Putin’s nasty ball gag.