“If you think the clap is a problem, just save yourself until marriage.”

Acuña now has 60 home runs before turning 22, tying him for fourth on that ledger

Shut the fuck up Donnie.

If you can dodge a ground, you can dodge a ball.

*kneehilist

Nope.

Jon, is that you?

Walking around you can tell it was definitely a very cool city at one time. But between every 2 bars with some good jazz playing were 18 abandoned buildings. Felt like a ghost town, which is definitely a bummer.

a “contrived tie situation”

Please don’t go to Memphis, Drew. We almost lost you once already.

As a massive Nationals fan, I second this GIF.

Don’t tease me. Good things don’t happen to the Wizards.

Your move, Davey Martinez.

I’ve always wanted to tell you thanks, but I had to wait for you to say you enjoyed my username.

Wow. Usually it is their major league affiliate doing all the choking.

I actually think he would have been a perfect fit for the Knicks, because he isn’t a very good basketball player.

Incognito doesn’t need more hits. He is essentially David Carradine post five-point-palm-exploding-heart and we should just pray he doesn’t kill anyone else on his way out the door.

Bryan’s story is basically the plot of Angels in the Outfield, except instead of the Angels he has the shitty Vikings and his dad is never coming back.

I actually hoped he would retire over this. Because even though I am a hypocrite who still watches and follows the NFL religiously, I am basically rooting for every player in the league to retire at all times and hopefully save themselves from a life of misery.

The south of the northeast!