Kids, your school is safe as shit.

I believe Mr. DiCucci was joking, sir or madam.

I know.

Don’t care for Bryce now that he’s a Phil but, my god, did he bang your wife or something?

Sometimes it’s endearing

Jokic is excited that he no longer has the least impressive body on the Nuggets roster.

They probably just turned on autodraft and went to bed.

Muy bien. +uno

I still think there are some bumps in Arriola’s game and it could use a little tweaking.

“what everyone thought the Celtics would be by now”

Sadly there would be no way to make the money work, but it’s fun to imagine Kyrie and Horford signing with the Lakers. Then, with Kyle Kuzma in the role of a less good Tatum, the Lakers are basically what everyone thought the Celtics would be by now, except instead of Gordon Hayward, they have frickin Lebron.

Yeah I called it.

Six years and millions of dollars later, coming around after that HBP and stealing home on fuckface Hamels is still the coolest thing Bryce has ever done.

This painting was artificially enhanced and must never hang in the hall of fame.

This aged well.

Lean your thigh into the side of the roll to stop the spinning. Or, unwind to your preferred length, and then give it a swift tear using a similar motion to a magician pulling a table cloth.

I use my right ear, unless I’m standing up to wipe my ass, in which case I will switch. I’m better at phoning with my off-hand than ass-wiping.

I like to imagine that dolphlundgren420 has never in his/her life sent an email with any body text. 

It’s only a Hail Mary if the play you’ve selected is “Da Bomb.”