The best news is, no one will ever have to go to Moncton again for any reason.

“And here we see the vicious predator, Tedcruz Teaparticus, in its natural habitat. Note how it can extend and retract its proboscis at will. This creates a sense of revulsion in its prey, and as the prey experiences reverse peristalsis in response, the Tedcruz Teaparticus at this point moves in for the kill,…

Don’t worry, he won’t always have money, and you’ll always have better literacy skills than he does.

If you accept that Matt Harvey is basically the baseball equivalent of Ryan Lochte, it all starts to make sense.

Right? This is a guy who never misses a chance to inflate his own status. You’d think he’d be eager for some reflected glory from her success.

Just to be clear, I have no sympathy for Donald or Pappy Trump if any of this is true. No amount of “trauma” caused by being inferior to women excuses the disgusting bullshite he’s been peddling.

I think Trump’s family history might shed some light on his absolute hatred of successful women:

He didn’t know he was supposed to have thoughts! No one told him!

Donald doesn’t know how to dog whistle, so he just shouts “Hey you, dog! Come here!”

Yeah, for all the pearl-clutching going on among notable right-wing dingbats, a good percentage of the base probably smiled and nodded and said, “Good, now we know that Donald is on our side on this. Death to all the sluts!”

If he’d ever had a job interview in his life, he’d know that being asked and answering uncomfortable questions is part of the process.

“President Trump, North Korea is about to drop a nuke on Japan! What do we do?”

The fact that you KNOW you shouldn’t be president makes you more qualified than Trump. Sorry, you just became the GOP nominee. I’ve got Paul Ryan on the line for you to discuss VP options.

Or better yet, he goes full-on, hardcore unrepentant racist, misogynist, homophobe, spewing every slur and epithet that he can think of, live on national TV.

Would you extend this scenario to state that anyone who has expressed a pro-choice or pro-abortion viewpoint is inciting murder? I’m asking for a friend because I’ve personally never expressed any particular thoughts on the issue ...

Long-dead people are fair game.

Not, you are not the only one, and his track record supports that impression. He was sued because his apartment housing developments wouldn’t rent to black people.

Well, she’s the one who chose to mix her genes with Fred Trump’s, she should’ve expected a bad result ...

He really believes he’s the expert on every topic and doesn’t need to consult anyone ... unless he gets caught in an overt lie or untruth or self-contradiction, and then suddenly he’s claiming that he doesn’t know anything about the topic.

Counterpoint: Donald’s mother should’ve been punished for NOT having an abortion.