Typing the first three characters alone is enough to drive most men beyond the bounds of sanity ... which makes it super secure, if you think about it.

Good ol’ Pee Hands himself.

Oh yeah, there’s a virtual armada of mimi-Trumps following in his wake.

A dog can only do so much damage ...

I had a friend in college who had a password like that. After a while he couldn’t actually remember it to tell anyone, he could only type it by muscle memory of his fingers. “I know it, but I can’t remember it!”

It’s like we now live in a bad parody version of the American political process. Some half-assed screenwriter wanted to make a film of the danger of fascist demagoguery to democracy, featuring a cartoonishly misogynist and racist villain, and somehow his weak, ill-conceived screenplay came to life.

Come over to our side, Michelle Fields. It’s not too late. We don’t treat women like this. Learn from this experience. If you stick with the right-wingers they’ll continue to do this to you. It’s not your fault this happened, but now is the time to get away from your abusers.

By the time he’s running for his second term the storyline will be the time he survived an assassination attempt by an unhinged (read: menstruating) liberal reporter.

*a bigger stack of toads.

Give it time, he will.

“Mostly the guns part, and the presidential veto. I intend to use both of those a lot.”

By the time he finishes a sentence he doesn’t remember where he started, so getting coherence out of him just isn’t going to happen.

I was offended when this guy got his own TV show. I mean, in a landscape of odious, degenerate shitbags, he still managed to stand out as one of the worst people in the medium. So the idea that he has a legit shot at the most powerful office on Earth is just mind-boggling to me.

I do worry that he’ll go up there and say, “Hillary Clinton had Vince Foster killed. It’s true. She was never prosecuted, but some very smart people tell me it’s true.” And sooooooo many people will believe him.

If it is, it would explain a lot.

I wonder if they’d let Deadspin be Deadspin or if they’d try to tame it. I need my sports snark unfiltered.

I’d rather see SB Nation or Sports Illustrated, but knowing our luck it’ll be Yahoo.

[the light in your room begins to dim and the echoes of maniacal laughter can be heard in the distance]

I know my password is secure because it’s “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn”

How about an underwater colony? Water is great for blocking radiation.