I swear it’s not because he’s a reptilian! Ignore all my previous comments on the subject, and this one, too!

Your scenario assumes that he has a first human head. I have yet to see it.

Then he could try to turn himself inside out and see if it makes him any more attractive. Couldn’t be any less attractive.

Some guys have a stench that defies deodorizing.

Let’s team up. I’ll get the left arm, you get the right one.

I know what to do with his arms!!!!

Good points. This article might’ve been better served if it had more of a tone of “here’s some new, interesting info about the state of the Mets’ owners’ finances,” instead of “#LOLWILPONS.”

I wouldn’t spank them with your hand ...

He’s an apeirogon

I think you’re onto something there. It’s kinda like “truthiness,” it expresses something we were all thinking, but didn’t have a word for.

If Donald Trump is Vanity in human form, then Mike Huckabee is Hatred personified. The surprise is that Vanity is winning this year.

Careful, don’t get too angry, high blood pressure might not be good for that fetus that might magically appear in your womb at any moment.

You know there’s a website somewhere that has a comment that’s word-for-word identical to yours ... except your evil twin poster wasn’t being sarcastic.

Good news! You can quit drinking today, and again tomorrow, and every day for the rest of your life! I’ve quit drinking loads of times.

The warning has just a hint of the mentality that considers all women of childbearing age to be “pre-pregnant.” There’s already a substantial portion of the population that sees women as walking incubators, and I worry that this could encourage that thinking.

Oh good, at least I can still laugh at those idiots. They’re mostly harmless.

I wonder if any of these morally decrepit assholes ever have brief moments of clarity where they realize they’re full of shit. If so, they probably just down a half dozen ludes and check their stock portfolios to wash away any cognitive dissonance.

I don’t dare. I’m as afraid of anti-vaxxer contagion as I am of any traditional infectious disease.

I know the comment you’re talking about. The responses on that article shredded the little remaining faith in humanity I was still clinging to. And some of the weirdest ones were claiming to be pro-choice ...

A Duggar on birth control! It really is true that every cloud has a silver lining.