Ah crap, I’ve heard the “Mets are cheap!” complaint so many times I responded reflexively. I can use the “It’s Monday morning” excuse, right?

The Mets are cheap, but that’s not what this is about.

Actually, Daniel Murphy was a mere mortal a week and a half ago. Not sure who this guy is, but he’s not the Daniel Murphy who Mets fans have been dying to get rid of for years.

That really is the best chasm of them all. Not!

When do we each get our own security detail to protect the public from Trump?

Yeah, if you get to the point that you’re good enough that “glue guys” matter, then you should be competent enough to find new ones on an as-needed basis.

This was simply a case of the Wolf-bot 2000’s settings being a little off. They just rebooted him, cleared his cache and everything will be fine going forward. If it happens again they’ll just wipe his memory and reinstall the operating system.

Who are you to criticize Enema Smits? Did you ever rush for 168 yards with a septic graded shoulder? I didn’t think so.

If I recall correctly, it’s specifically the “th” sound from “thick” but not “then.”

There is a point where you can be too early, though. If you show up to a job interview 45 minutes early (I’ve seen it happen!) it can give the appearance that you’re desperate, and thus willing to be underpaid.

You have an enlightened perspective, especially for a frozen Soviet sex lizard.

The sad thing is, there’s an easy answer for a vote you regret:

Too late, you’re Speaker of the House! No take-backs!

How we got conned into it is that this is what they teach us in schools. It takes some serious deprogramming as an adult to learn the truth. Many never get that far.

It’s like the choice between drinking raw sewage or molten lava. One will probably kill you eventually, the other will definitely kill you right now.

Exactly right. THE WHOLE POINT of our government was to invest the legislatures with the most power. And yet we expect our presidents, governors and even mayors to rule by fiat. Thus, we get candidates who like the idea of ruling by fiat.

Kyle Schwarber for Secretary of State, so we can bring hime run derbies to foreign nations!

Fails the Gene Siskel test by a significant margin:

Oh lord, I really hope the Caps miss the playoffs by a single point now.

What happens when Schwarber starts clanging baseballs off the planes taking off from O’Hare? Soon the Cubs will need to get FAA clearance for his at-bats.