I'm sorry but Leonardo DiCaprio and Carey Mulligan are no Robert Redford and Mia Farrow. Shenanigans, I say!!

"B-but. Blood is flowing through this penis at super speed. Who else is going to touch it? Surely not I!!"

You could always go to city hall (or wherever it is you go) do the whole signing thing there then have a big potluck BBQ party. Everybody brings a dish lovingly prepared for the couple to feast on and that way you only have to worry about alcohol... or you can do it the other way. Everyone brings booze and you provide…

And at seven years old the girl has plenty of time to get better at art by the time college applications comes around.

Oh look! Up in the sky! Say, that looks like a flying pig doesn't it?

We used to have a Chik-Fil-A where I live but it closed down before all the boycotts. I honestly miss it 'cause it was the healthiest option at our local mall (yay for working retail) and I also miss it because with the place gone now I don't even have the option of boycotting the place.

That is true... forgot about that, sorry.

Aw that's not fair! I want a snuggle bear! But that's pretty sweet of you two doing that. That's awesome.

As a french person and daughter of a boulanger who is also on her way to become a pastry chef (and boulanger too... I want to be both) I'd like to inform you that no bread is not bad for you... and no that's not what will make you fat. A good bread is filling, nutritious, and a good addition to a meal (makes it useful…

My friend is a big spoiler hater so I've gotten adept at speaking about spoilers without actually revealing anything but, I don't know, personally I prefer to have the map with me when I start the journey. I'm sure sailing without a map can be fun because of the many surprises you can encounter but I prefer knowing.…

It's just a different way to experience the journey.

Tween girls: the secret weapon. Haha, so glad I didn't have the internet back then 'cause it'd be nonstop posts about BSB and how much I "hated" the girlfriend/wife and they should die since they ruin the fantasy.

For the better, I say. *

I was so happy for a second but then humans had to crush that emotion by being horrible like always.... well if this tape even exists.

I love the Zoloft Cream Puffs!! They're so cute and I just want to cuddle with them and introduce them to Snuggle the Bear so we can have our own flowery picnic. And we'll chase butterflies and ladybugs, and we'll meet unicorns and foxes and kittens and dogs... and life will be perfect.

Duh, Obama is Harry Potter (Polyjuice), and Steve Jobs, and Bill Gates, and every other rich person you can think of. Yes, every single one of them. Even Rush Limbaugh. Why do you think smartphones are so popular? It's so that we'll be distracted when the wizards finally come out of the closet and Avada Kedavra us all.

Yea but then you get stuck behind that one person who doesn't seem to understand how to use the self checkout even though the damn machines have giant buttons.