majesticseaflapflap
MajesticSeaFlapFlap
majesticseaflapflap
Dec 18 2017
65

How many people do yo think are on medication for anxiety and depression? It feels like everyone. Does that make anyone else sad?

Nov 28 2017
185

Done being attractive, done using make up, done brushing my hair, done brushing my teeth, is that how it works now??

Nov 21 2017
473

In 1989, my godmother was taking a shower, when she looked up and saw a huntsman spider roughly the size of a dinner plate right above her head. She thought, ‘no worries, I will just calmly and quietly finish up this shower before he has a chance to move.’ Right at that moment, the Newcastle earthquake stuck, rattling Read more

Nov 20 2017
518

Great article. There are modern extrathoracic negative pressure ventilators that are comparatively small and unobtrusive. They’re phenomenally expensive to use and service, but luckily we don’t live in some kind of crazy dystopia in which only the fortunate and wealthy have access to modern medical technology and Read more

Oct 25 2017
244

Daddy’s little fraud, she’s as fake as daddy’s ridiculous make-believe bio is. She is not a “businesswoman”, her daddy gave her a “company” to play with. She was never a “model”, her daddy pulled strings to help her pretend she was. She is not “poised” or “moderate”, she is actually contrived and artificial, nothing Read more

Jul 13 2017
558

I can’t. I can’t make jokes about this, or find it funny, or think “oh jeez THIS guy” or any of that fucking bullshit. Because at the end of the motherfucking day, I am raising my daughter in a world that is REGRESSING instead of PROGRESSING in terms of women’s rights and that makes me fucking sick to my stomach. It Read more

Jul 11 2017
789

I’d like to think “oh he did this because he’s stupid” but honestly I think he did this because 1: they’re fucking untouchable at this point and 2: his supporters don’t give a shit, they see nothing wrong with it. When Trump said that he could fucking shoot people and not lose any supporters, he meant it. Strap in, Read more

Jul 11 2017
262

Today I felt like I breathed fresh air for the first time in nine months. My heart is soaring. I’m gonna get so blackout drunk when these fuckers are finally all indicted, it will probably put me in the hospital.

Jun 28 2017
193

So the TSA just gets to take pictures of your stuff and tweet it now? The next time I fly and I happen to pack, oh I don’t know, a great big dildo I shouldn’t be surprised to see a picture of some TSA dude holding it up with a smirk? Great.

Jun 21 2017
34

My mom worked in higher education around the time that Mr. Smuttins and I were in grad school. It lead to MomSmuttins trying to drop the knowledge on us at bars, only to later ask, “Besides iced tea, what are the other ingredients in a Long Island Iced Tea?” We were 💀💀 from 🤣😂 and then had to drive MomSmuttins 🚗 Read more

Jun 19 2017
507

“I am not shocked that part of her health was affected by drugs,” he continued. “If you want to know what killed her, it’s all of it.” Read more

Jun 15 2017
232

The “deep state spear” is Newt’s biggest fear and the terror that keeps him up at night: A big ol’ gay liberal dong that thrusts deep into the ‘Murican dream and pumps it full of rainbows and compassion. Oh! And the dong is black, and thinks that women should be allowed to vote.

Jun 7 2017
316

I know people wil say I’m exaggerating, but it’s my firm belief that it’s this kind of thing that lay the grounds for normalizing victim-blaming in rape. Read more

Jun 7 2017
478

High school me would just have just said fuck it and chucked the bra. If you thought the straps were distracting wait until you see these G’s sway.

May 26 2017
18

Even if that is true? NOT OKAY TO SAY TO CHILDREN. For all I care, this student could have set off 12 stink bombs in the teacher’s lounge, still NOT OKAY. Read more