This is extremely accurate.

I like this one better. Hope everyone’s finished eating.

Oh Fuck OFF already with this. If you don’t like it, don’t buy it. They’re legit good games that are fun to play. Stop pissing in everyone’s cheerios.

It was actually just Randy. He had a bit too much to drink and before you know it, “my cock is hard”.

I choose to believe in the "this was the plan all along" conspiracy not because I think the filmmakers are diabolical and desperate for attention, but because I need hope that nobody actually looked at the first design and said "Yep, that's good. Let's go with that."

See HBO, you can end a story properly. :D

Kotaku readers will tell you that anything with “E” and “A” involved is typically bad for you.

Overheard in a Starbucks, between a manager and a new employee:

Everything about the way this article was written seems pretty respectful to me. It was a question worth asking, and Blizzard provided an interesting answer that gives further insight on how games are made an maintained over nearly two decades.

All those different versions, and they couldn’t include the objectively superior Super Nintendo version of Aladdin.

Agree so hard with the first paragraph. I find the second pretty offensive to literally anyone with a religion, though. Back up on the name calling.

How great would it be if the other blogs all started covering sports today?

I feel like venture capitalists would consider theft a sport, right?

There is a BIG (or, in your case, small) difference between painting your naked penis and a woman wearing applications that cover her breasts in the same way that a bikini would cover her chest, sans strings.

You apathy and cynicism is inspiring.  You’re so cool and rad.  

a 6"8 incubus waterboarding you with Budweiser

Would be so cool to commission a Genabackis map.

I find it telling that he stated “I cant buy Greenland” and not “we cant buy Greenland”

Yes. Domesticated animals are often extremely sensitive to the cues that humans unconsciously give them. A fascinating example of this is “Clever Hans,” an early 20th century horse who could do complex math problems ONLY when his audience knew the answers. An investigation showed that Hans responded to subtle cues…

Everything. Alabama, could have a special election between tits, and bigger tits, give out free samples, and they would still elect dicks.