‘it looks like it’s suddenly reversed course.’

I didn’t think I would find a reporter saying butthole this hilarious but holy shit, I’m DYING at this.

On the plus side, it’s probably the most publicity this place has ever gotten! On the downside . . . well, everything else.

We aim to entertain, in this, the darkest timeline.... : )

Imagine Gordon saying “Come on get it together. I just saw your babies butthole”

The crunchy parents here said the child is toilet training (she is actually nearly 2), which in that world means that the baby gets to control when and if the baby wears the diaper/training pants, so it would be removable by the toddler — and it’s super common for these types of parents to let a kid run around in just…

God yes

That sounds miserable. Who would want that? Ugh and you might have to wait an hour for food sometimes?? No. What if all of that happened on one visit? Long ass wait, kids running around yodeling, maybe a butthole.

TRUTH TRUTH TRUTH TRUTH TRUTH

Vegan mommies with free-range children and sanctimonious seem to have a big overlap on the venn diagram of personal traits.

This is the drama that I’m here for and if the universe could please only offer drama of this caliber and not the horrifying real-shit variety it’s been into lately, then I would be a very satisfied customer of this experience called life. please and thank.

‘They even hit an old lady with their van a few weeks ago”

I’m especially baffled by the two stars. The body of the post vaccilates between “I go here because I have few options” and “I saw an anus” and “the food is microwaved weiners that take a long time”. Why two? It reads like one of those reviews that start with “I’D GIVE THIS PLACE ZERO STARS IF I COULD!!”

Ohhhhh, someone brought the tea! Also, that shit is nasty!

This is precisely what I came down here to write. The second I hear “mama bear” I go ahead and assume slightly nuts. Though they’re usually on the other side of the counter demanding to see the manager.

The dirty-footed yodeling child took me over the edge...

“she was quickly apprehended” is my favorite part

From baby buttholes to tofurkey sausages, this whole article made me vaguely nauseated.

What the hell did I just read?

If I am eating at a restaurant and I see anyone’s butthole, I want an apology and a free dinner. Buttholes are a dealbreaker. And this is regardless of whether the butthole in question is a ten second butthole or a 15 minute butthole. Also, butthole is an intrinsically funny word, so kudos to Chelsea for using it…