White russian slushies. Learned how in college (many, many years ago). They go down SMOOTH.

It’s a cycle. Magrat becomes Gytha becomes Esme. I’m sure you’ll get there.

Gytha is my role model although I’m afraid I’m actually one of life’s Magrats.

Esme is the name of Granny Weatherwax and I demand you take your sinful wrongwords back.

#dorthvademothra2085

So making your own decision is the non feminist choice? Fucking Christ.

Preach!

Hopefully they only harm themselves:

Follow this man. He will keep you safe.

You left out the best quote: “We love freedom and we’re trying to make more freedom,” he said.

Idk why somebody has to ask this question every single time because it’s not particularly baffling. It’s the same reason anybody gets fast food - you’re not going to Chipotle for authentic Mexican cuisine, you’re going to Chipotle because you want Chipotle

i recently discovered www.dailypuppy.com. it’s been a big help.

The thing I learned from this post is that they sell that garbage by the case. I tried that crap once, it tasted like salty Bud Light with the aftertaste of the white part of a Bomb Pop.

My mom’s older brother was an alcoholic, agoraphobic biker, and we usually only saw him on Thanksgiving for that reason. When I was nine, he turned up to dinner with his girlfriend Star, a fellow biker, and my dad (who didn’t really “get” him, but wanted to make him feel included) asked him to say the blessing. And, I…

Once upon a time I was Queen of the Mashed Potatoes land. Then at the age of seven they became a wave of thick glue inside my mouth and I would become nauseous. I begged and pleaded not to have mashed potatoes on my plate to no avail.

This is a sad, not funny story, but Thanksgiving is always a little bittersweet for me because it was the holiday I realized my first marriage was over.

My family is super duper chill so in the grand scheme of things, this isn’t even that bad. But it is my favourite thanksgiving story!
So first boyfriend, first sit down dinner with the family. We were 19. It really wasn’t that big of a deal, since my parents had seen him drunk, puking, and passed out already but for…

Ok, when I was like 11 or 12, I was at my cousins house with a big group of family, 20-30 people. After dinner, all the kids wanted to play hide and go seek. I went and hid in the closet of the guest bathroom which was adjacent to the toilet- big mistake. After a few minutes, one by one, family members would come in…

I just want to get in here before the flood of “why aren’t you supervising your children” comments to say, preemptively, fuck off.

My dad used to joke when I had braces that all I needed in addition to those railroad tracks were glasses and then I would never find a husband.