So so very sorry. My cat came down with a virus last Saturday night and also had to be put down Tuesday night. I was also alone during all this. And it was my first pet to lose. I’ve been an emotional disaster all week. My baby was going to be 1 year old this week. It was AWFUL. Sending you my thoughts. Hopefully our…

Fuck you guys. One of my cats was vomiting this week. Like bile and stuff. It took me a couple days to figure out which one because they were all acting normally. I finally figured out it was my Tiny Wots, so I took her straight to the vet. She was refusing food and water. Doctor felt a mass in her abdomen. They took…

It’s not the “Southern White House”.

“But but but! Wars are hard! It’s so much work! I just want to play in my magical fort! No one told me it was going to be this much work! None of you are invited in my fort until my approval rating is above 45% because I’m president 45! I want my phone! I want my phone and I want to ride in the big truck again! I want…

Meanwhile, when Trump visits China...

I feel like I’m in a trippy alternate world where the Von Trump family singers entertain and the Nazis are US.

I HAD THE EXACT SAME REACTION, YESTERDAY.

While I appreciate your concern, I make good English.

Anyone who is appalled by the tone of this email is adorably inexperienced when it comes to receiving emails from the executive leadership down to middle management and below. The genre is always self-congratulatory and filled with ‘team wins’ that mean nothing to the recipients, but the execs feel like ‘sharing the…

reading this you can also map out Trump’s speech patterns

Come sit with me, in the grey dark.

He actually bottoms from the top, because of his social conscience.

Him? No. Young Tim Kaine? Ayuuuup.

McCheetoism. We are in an era of McCheetoism.

I once witnessed a neo-soul/jass singer sing three songs laying down on the stage, and it was nothing short of electrifying. If you can sing your butt off, the pyrotechnics and booty shaking is completely unnecessary.

Were his supporters underneath the ground covering? Is he counting hell’s minions as his supporters?

He can hold me accountable all he wants. I have over 200 years of history behind me. Come at me, you fucking tangerine.

People are always comparing Trump to Hitler. But, c’mon, at least Hitler actually wrote his own book.

I mean, he has a point. In this shot it does look pretty crowded.