Trump 2020: I Won the Popular Vote

Trump: I don’t stand by anything.

How do we convince pod person Mark Zuckerburg to not run for president?

The most heartbreaking part about this whole saga is that it may have forced a mediocre white tech dude to admit that he can’t do everything. I mean, can you imagine the pathos of that moment, when he realized that his misguided bravado and the penis swinging between his legs just weren’t enough anymore?

WON’T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE FEE-FEE’S OF THE MEDIOCRE WHITE MAN? I just keep growing more and more infuriated. This stupid fucking capitalistic bull shit country with it’s bull shit about exceptionalism. Our exceptional quality is the dunder headed stupidness of “It can’t happen here” “It’s going to be fine; it…

Missed opportunity to write “What the fvck is a CHVRCHES?”

I think this is not a competition and both were awesome.

There’s a reason why conservatives rant about liberal snowflakes:

It’s not like they were there and everyone had cholera, or there were zombies, or cholera zombies.  

Whenever I read stories like this in the world, I wonder how on earth people my age or younger can just go and willy nilly drop $2000 on something like this. Our household income is twice the median and anything over $200 is a ‘is this ok? Can we do this?’ type of purchase. I always wonder what these people do for a…

I was legitimately worried that this was going to be another OITNB thing where men complained about the lack of focus on men in a story by women about women in a women’s prison.

Cannot do. That would require me scanning a photo and I don’t have a scanner. But here’s a McClintock that’s pretty close to my wedding dress. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

I would really like a _My Super Sweet 16: Where are they now?_ with all the original spoiled brats.

so thankful i came of age before instagram and promposals.

(Unintelligible)

Years ago, my Fox News-watching dad came over for a visit and gave my son Bill O’Reilly’s book for teenagers. My son said “Thanks Grandpa” and after my folks went home, my kid tossed the book in the garbage. He was 14.

I am going to go out on a limb and guess that you’re a white, hetero man. Or haven’t seen any news about the actual laws both enacted and repealed that have a seriously deleterious affect on many non-white and non-men and non-hetero.

Oh, trust, I’m in therapy. It’s not about who won or lost. It’s about the implications that come with it. I am terrified DAILY about the fact that the place I go for my free mental health care can be de-funded any day because they provide contraception too. I’m terrified to leave my house wearing my Star of David…

Funny .gifs are all we have left for the next four years.

current president: