Why. WHY do they insist on taking their shoes off in the car? What are they trying to prove?!

Reading that made me so sad.

Sorry, no. Teenagers are assholes and need to be taught by assholes to become bigger assholes. Wait, that’s business school. Never mind.

If it's too hard to NOT be an asshole to a six year old, maybe, just maybe, you shouldn't be a teacher.

According to the AP, the initial blast “sounded like lightning”

Especially when the asshole lives 6 miles away from the person he kidnapped and tortured...

I mean if it’s someone who was caught stealing it’s probably not a huge deal if it takes a while to track them down. which is exactly why violent offenders should never ever be given house arrest.

Prescriptions? According to a man who calls himself a doctor of medicine he’s the healthiest man to ever run for President. If there’s anything he’s “on” it’s liquid bootstraps, stars and bars vitamins and snorted ground eagle beaks.

Sadly, Donald Trump is the politician we deserve. Years and years of bigots and assholes, yet most of America did nothing. Donald Trump didn’t just sneak up on this country, he was built brick by brick. I hope he fails. Please vote, people.

I’ll pull you out of the grays. Your message is reasonable and reasoned.

Usually my car’s tail end swings out.

Awww, I think their tweet is cute, cute, cute, cute, cute, cute.

I’m crying on the toilet, and I didn’t even have Chipotle yesterday.

It’s as if children’s lives have an impact on their parents or something.

It’s no surprise that Rudolph understands what it’s like when none of the others invite you to play.

Great. Now I’m crying in a McDonald’s. And it's not for any of the usual reasons.

The funny part is, he thinks he’s a good guy.

That article just advised doing pretty much everything women hate about being out in a public place.

You’re too polite. I would’ve made extra grunting noises and flushed, like, 5 times. Maybe add in a “please go down please go down” or two for extra color.