Speaking on behalf of millions of depressives: shut the fuck up, LaToya.

God, men are so emotional

Would rather have seen Trevor Noah go.

I really blew an audition once when we were supposed to be doing funny improv’ed banter and I was asked what movies would be terrible musicals.

I’m sure he was just being sarcastic.

All night? Completely unnecessary.

I can speak a little to this, as a DV survivor. My ex and I had many mutual friends. After the incident happened, a lot of those mutual friends sided with him, for dubious reasons. Over time, I actually came to hate them more than I hated him. Oh, trust me, I hated him too. But them... It’s hard to explain, but I…

Actually, I think it's a bit of genius. Here, this guy is telling HP fans that he won't sell wands to them, and those fans who perhaps never thought of buying a wand think, "I'll show him - I'm going to his shop and demand he sell me one." The shopkeeper puts up a fuss, but reluctantly agrees to the sale. And then he…

It's hard for Trump to have a firm grasp on anything, given the size of his fingers.

Chinese marriage laws are awful and doing this in front of the entire world puts a shit ton of pressure on her to say yes. I would have been livid, and it actually would have made me rethink the entire relationship. But then again, if that's what she wants, then mazal tov. Better you than me, kiddo.

There’s a saying (probably by Menken or Einstein) that goes, “Never assume evil intent when stupidity will suffice.” :)

My friend’s boyfriend proposed to her in public BECAUSE he knew she hated public proposals and thought it would be really funny. Thousands of people saw her smiling and whispering her answer in his ear and assumed she was saying “yes”. She was actually whispering “I’m going to kill you.”

Because people cant be outraged out both. Oh the oppression olympics are always so much fun to play.

She won silver, but patriarchy won gold.

Right? I would have been REAL PISSED.

I’m 31 now, and I remember having a conversation with a college friend when we were both 25. She was like, “do you remember being a kid and thinking that 25 was SO OLD, and that you would DEFINITELY have all your shit together by then? Like, 100% solid career track, white picket fence house, dog, husband, etc.”

Amusingly, Simone Manuel is less characters than African American.

As others have noted, this headline was almost certainly constructed this way to improve its SEO scoring. People searching on “Michael Phelps” would see this in their search results, which would drive more readers. Fewer people would be searching on “Simone Manuel” (remember, NBC didn’t even show her medal…

1. Gymnastics – Women’s Individual All-Around