Your five-finger-discount escapades made me think of this song and I thank you for that.

I had a dream last week that trump died. And it was so real. Imagine the crushing depression upon waking up and discovering it wasn’t so real? Of course, we’re all hoping for a pence presidency, which can’t be better, so maybe it was a nightmare?

I hate to say it, but yeah. I would absolutely do this too.

Wow, that was really buried in the depths of my brain!

This guy is such a Schnatter

For real that’s the most mild blowing part of this to me. That motherfucker has no shame. I’d have handed in membership and not even driven by that gym. I’d be growing a beard, getting a different haircut and switching sports for life on the off chance someone would recognize my bitch ass. This motherfucker walks back…

He’s from Crackastan. 

Glad I wasn’t the only one to remember this

Strawberry Hill is the One True Boone’s Flavor!

I thought everyone who attended college knew this

This is what happened to the “My dad’s a lawyer” kid from your HS.

Boy, I got real excited about this!!  I’m delighted.  Good morning!

We’ve been trying to make Trump feel unwelcome in New Jersey forever.  Maybe this will do the trick!  Great job, activists!

As a French speaker, I wonder WTF is with all these people naming their kids "half." 

PROPS FOR BANNED IN DC MOTHAFUCKAAAA

I’m sympathetic to vegetarianism, but I am 100% calling bullshit on the logic here. If they wanted to impact the environment they could turn off the AC at their properties, or countless other methods to limit their carbon footprint that would affect their product instead of policing what their employees choose to eat

Seriously, why all this snark for Tebow when the people who really deserve it are the parents who gave her that name???

I know it’s been said already but trump is such a staggering idiot. I mean  just unbelievably incredibly, astoundingly dumb.

Every employee should protest by microwaving fish in the office.

You know, since the company is okay with seafood, despite most farmed fish being terrible for the environment.

“What else is it going to take for the 70% to realize that they’ve got to choose a side?”