Also, somebody please go check on Drake.

A good rule of thumb to live by: never put anything you find in Times Square inside your body.

As a European who’s never been to the US (still in school and broke AF) I got SO FUCKING excited the first time I found red cups in a shop. I was living in London at the time (we don’t really have them where I live) and that evening my friends and I dressed up as characters from American Pie, got wasted and I fell…

Exactly. Nothing new here.

Nice trans kid? GTFO!

The super-fucked up things here is that the kids knew that Joe was transgender and guess what... DIDN’T GIVE A SHIT. It was the asshole parents that complained and caused him to be kicked out. If that doesn’t prove that bigotry and hate is a learned behavior I don’t know what does.

While the Boy Scouts should be inclusive, we’ve known for a while now that it’s an organization run by a bunch of fucking bigots. I feel like a major bitch every time I politely decline buying popcorn or whatever terrible nonsense my friends’ sons are selling for the Boy Scouts, but there ain’t no way my money is…

*sings* We’re all gonna die.

Fuck you! Elton John is fine.

OMG! Shut your mouth!

Gonna be stupidly optimistic and hope this is just because of bad grades

I tried to post a Bieber meme here to give you a hard time and my phone literally shut down.

Jesus Christ, Iris, why are you always such a fucking bummer? Maybe work on that, huh? Thanks from all of us.

True story: I was going to do another take of this video, and waited until I was ready to open a particular bottle of wine I’d been looking forward to drinking. I set up the camera, grabbed the bottle, and...yup. Screw top.

All my wine comes with twist-off caps. This doesn’t help me.

please be friends w me

Someone gave me one of these as a gag gift. I gave her a wind up fish dildo that swims towards your vag in the bath.

In the world of sex, there’s a market for everything (unfortunately).

Behold the Trump white house uniform for female employees, except in red white and blue, (and gold.)