That’s my justification for a lot of things! I’ve eaten twice my body weight in raw dough over the years and I’m just fine!

Every professional chef I know threatens to stab me when I suggest this, but I haven’t killed anyone yet by putting the frozen chicken bosom into a bowl of warm-ish water for an hour or so. Or hot water and a half-hour if you’re in a hurry.

And people are SO PRECIOUS about whether they live in the TOWN of Princeton or the township. Like, nobody cares, Chet.

and no place to hear a band.

Wait. So you’re saying that the plot of Flat Stanley is... fiction?

MY EXACT THOUGHT.

No. When I was pregnant I was big as a house from an early stage (placenta on top, yay) and it was OBVIOUS that I needed to sit down. If nobody offered, I had no hesitation in asking because HELLO PREGNANT LADY AND IT’S 100 DEGREES AND I WILL RIP YOUR FACE OFF.

Right? I’m not a statistician, but I’m willing to bet that if you get any 10 Republicans in a room, at least two of them are actively involved in something like this.

If you’re the birth-person in this equation (you said “we” so...) then your body just isn’t ready yet. Not only are you recovering from the birth fiesta, but you’re adjusting your WHOLE LIFE around this new person you’ve acquired. That is mentally, physically, and emotionally taxing even at the best of times. Your…

Are their “targeted” ads going to stop offering me (a loudmouth Jewish feminist) things like “bible study workbooks” and the ads for Christian marriage-bolstering vacation packages? That would be nice.

It’ll be one episode. Madonna will be there all trying to defend her “acting” career and Patti will focus her eyes just to the left of Madonna’s head and not react at all, leaving Madge to splutter and fume. It will be lovely, but short.

I don’t know if it’s just my general state of feeling a bit unhinged or what, but I just legit cackled at that for five solid minutes.

I am #TeamLuPone! The only time I’ve ever liked Madonna in a movie was A League of Their Own. Everything else? Oh, no, Madge. No.

Drizzle with olive oil, grill, then sprinkle Asiago cheese over top, do not share with family, the end.

You’re right.

My MIL (born in Brooklyn but raised in the middle of Jersey) pronounced “coffee” with four syllables. She could also stretch out “dog” to at least three, sometimes up to five syllables.

That’s a reasonable assumption to make, but it’s not the same thing at all. There are a lot of moving parts up in there, man.

YES. I have friends who are all “oooooh I go commando or just wear a thong!” WHY. HOW. There are a couple of “good days” in my cycle where I could perhaps get away with such shenanigans, but for the most part, mama needs some coverage.

Because he’s a MAN and BY GOD we will LISTEN TO HIS FEELINGS.

ORRRRRRRR You could not click on it. I’m so sorry that something affecting half of the world’s population offends you SO MUCH, Snowflake. You need a safe space?