She has never once baked me cookies.

Especially when that one woman got more votes.

I have never heard this before, and now I want to vomit. Who is it?

“For years, women who have been smacked around by their husbands have found solace in the rather hypocritical proverb, ‘If he beats you, it means he loves you!,’” he wrote in Komsomolskaya Pravda

To me, he is one of the few male actors who get treated like a starlet. He gets the same cycle of frenzied adulation and then unreasonable hate as your Anne Hathaway, or your Zooey Deschanel.

Yes, but you have a lot of company. He looks like a creepy grease ball as Loki.

It’s like when they call Kate Middleton’s family “middle class.” They are rich.

My mom, when I told her I had to get back to the office because I was going to be five minutes late back from lunch, said, “Why? It’s Friday! Back when I worked in advertising in the 80s, we never even returned to work after lunch on Fridays.”

And reality shows about fishing.

Blue isn’t even manly enough, if there are feminine shapes like speech bubbles that have not been modified with manly angles.

I really like Odd Mom Out. I also have a weird crush on Andy Buckley, the guy who played David Wallace on The Office, and he is on the show. GGTD I watched a couple of times. It’s okay, but I would not be sad to never see it again.

I mean...I don’t want someone to abandon their car in front of my house, but it never occurred to me to be upset if people park there.

That movie felt like someone pulled a prank on me, or like it was the shitty movie within a comedy making fun of how bad movies can be.

I have seen somewhere between one and three of those Pirates movies, and it is all a jumbled mush in my head.

Agree on both counts.

I imagine Tom Brady is what Trump thinks he looks like. I like to picture Trump clapping Brady on the shoulders and saying “It’s like looking in a mirror. If you play your cards right, this could be your future, kid.”

My joke during the campaign was that if Hillary won it would be historic because apparently she would have been our first flawed president.

But now they are charging you at some airlines for a carry-on. Spirit, in particular, charges more for carry-on than checked bags, and if you bring no baggage at all, you will be put on a weird list and have to buy a toothbrush at your destination. I assume the next step will be charging a fee to customers wearing…

I 100% heard the sentence, but it didn’t sound like Ryan’s voice.

That’s a list of don’ts, without any constructive solutions. Honestly, it just seems to be an article about how there is no way to stop it.