madlib
madlib
madlib

When it comes to field-level crowd control at major events, there’s no security better than 66 y/o paraplegics

alleged that Bennett had shoved a 66-year-old paraplegic security guard

Seriously, that’s the point where I got off the boat. You think these people who’ve walked a thousand miles to throw themselves on your mercy are ARMED?

Sounds like you’ll be having quite a festive Thanksgiving. 

I will not tolerate Mexicans, or anybody else, acting in a violent way towards our men and women on the border.”

Tomatoes do have notoriously bad taste in sunglasses. 

No, what she said was pretty off the wall for a top law enforcement official. Allow me to provide the proper response:

Was that ever in doubt? So, why then, did Fox run this segment? (The rest of us know, but I’m curious if you do).

obligs....

Undoubtedly. But the problem is actually with how these rapists and serial killers treat other people’s safety and security.

Secretary Neilsen...I can’t imagine any scenario where your agents aren’t allowed to defend themselves if you are being shot at. No one with half a brain believes that. Just don’t be stupid about it and shoot into a crowd of people willy nilly. I know, that’s asking too much of your border protection agents.

Nard Dog strikes again.

It’s also true for most senior management in corporate America.  This is how we do it because this is how we’ve always done it!  

How The Fuck Did So Many Teams Pass On Patrick Mahomes?

Needs to play inside the rule of law and show more discipline. Too eager to make friends with dictators. Ravenous appetite for fast food can also bring unwanted gastrointestinal trouble. Willingness to default to playground bullying style appears to limit his ability to be taken seriously. Needs to improve

TL;DR “You’ve gotta stop with this pro-woman feminism stuff. Nobody wants that. It kills the fantasy.”

Every time I read one of these articles I’m just reminded of that Dan Savage line about how a lot of pornography is made exclusively for lonely and angry men.

It happens...

Hey, Jon. Welcome to Deadspin. There’s some aloe on Petchesky’s desk, you should use it.

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