The Christmas Story begins 2,000 years ago with a mother, a father, their baby son and the most extraordinary gift of all—the gift of God’s love for all of humanity.

He looks like one of those ventriloquist dolls that’s just waiting to be possessed by an evil spirit.

This is Mickey Rourke and his friend, hairdresser-to-the-stars Giuseppe Franco, and they are actually not doing Zoolander cosplay. They’re just out and about.

Poor Bruce...so much for enjoying his glass of wine in peace, thanks Page Six.

Speaking of Matt Lauer and the Hamptons:

I want her to take over the White House and the cheeto overlord, gawd heads would rollllllll.

I cannot WAIT to see this. The world needs Tabatha Coffey now. Still one of my favorite lines in television history in response to a snooty hair dresser asking what her cigarette schedule was:

YES.

That is the truth.

Idk, can we do the movie version instead, where Bannon pushes him off the top of the Washington Monument?

GQ went to Bowling Green and didn’t even stop to pay tribute to the victims of the Bowling Green Massacre! Fucking liberal media.

Oh, that’s very good.

So this came across my twitter feed:

John Oliver’s segment on Charlie Rose’s on-set creepiness just took on a whole new meaning...

I hope, but for how much they “don’t recall” and “misread the situation” I really wonder if they even consider their own actions.

I like to pretend that this is the Scourging of the Shire. On December 31, Donald Trump and Steve Bannon will attempt to leave the country together, but Bannon end up cutting Trump’s throat and the press corps will then shoot him full of arrows. Then we’ll all go home and have second breakfast, at least until Barack…

If only this were the real end to the tape, and his career...

Trump ate SHARK FIN SOUP at a state dinner in Vietnam.